Friday, January 30, 2015

Swimming Lessons

“The water’s too cold! I don’t want to go in!”
The lifeguard resisted the urge to massage her temples and smiled brightly. “Just bend your knees and propel off the side pool,” she coached.
“Did you see that? There’s something in there!” The ten-year-old shrieked. “I won’t go in!”
Fed up, she nonchalantly shoved him in.
Down, down he sunk, leaving only a trail of bubbles that made their way to the surface.
He looked up when he felt a splash but, instead of finding a teenage girl, he looked into the bright blue eyeball of a giant squid.

Commentary: Soooo, this one probably needs at least another 50 words or so to actually be complete. And sometimes I cheat and write more, but today I felt like sticking to the rules. Maybe I should talk to the group and see if there's any leniency? Or maybe I should write a tighter story, hahaha. I guess what happens to the whiner will be left up to your imagination.

This short story is a part of the illustrious Flash Fiction Friday. Read the other lovely stories, spun off the prompt: "Fed up of hearing his constant whining, the training instructor walked behind him nonchalantly and shoved him in the water." at the links below!


2 comments:

  1. Guess she should have listened. Haha, I enjoyed this ^_^
    I always write exactly 100 words, but I think I'm the only one who does. And I DON'T always write a complete story :P The rules of this group are not very strict; it's mostly just to get you writing, so you can do whatever you want ^_^
    I actually really liked where this one ended. It's not hard to imagine what happens next, and it has a great, "Oh no!" factor.

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    Replies
    1. Aw, thank you!

      I've been pretty obsessive about it in the past, but a couple weeks ago I caved for no good reason, hahaha. I usually like how it makes me think, because every word becomes so important and I find that a lot of what I cut is not necessary or even very helpful.

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