Wrapping Through Life + Memories of School Fundraisers

Did you ever have to sell anything for school? 

It was cool because it was double sided.

One year at Dilworth Elementary, we sold Sally Foster wrapping paper (which, I just found out via Google, has been discontinued). The PTA did a little fashion show demonstrating how awesome wrapping paper was (I'm not kidding about this. There were full wrapping paper outfits.) and I wanted SO BADLY to get something cool out of the prize magazine. 

I had to share all of my relatives with my sister and all the other neighborhood kids got to the old people on my street first, so Kendle and I both had only enough points to get little clackers, which my mom absconded because she was better at playing with it than we were. She made so much noise and Kendle and I hated it — talk about a role reversal. (Woah. I didn't know that life event needed to be aired.)

If my wrapping paper experience had been a little different, this might have happened to me:

"Would you like to buy some wrapping paper, ma'am?" I launched into my sales pitch once the door creaked open.

"Let's have a look — come inside for a cookie?" She warbled.

Invited inside? That prize for selling the most for my school fundraiser was in the bag!

"Hmmm, these are a little pricey." She perused the pages as I munched away. "I can't buy today. I have to go . . . iron . . . my cat."

As she closed the magazine, my eye caught her cupboards and a cat looked back at me. And another and another.

"I better go." I hightailed it out. Those prizes weren't so great anyway.

This short story is a part of the illustrious Flash Fiction Friday. Read the other lovely stories, spun off the dialogue prompt: "I have to go . . . iron . . . my cat." at the links below!

Brianne Dosch * Tiffany Jones * Kat!e Larson * Quinlyn Shaughnessy * Lady Violet

"Baby it's Cold Outside": Why you shouldn't be creeped out

EVERY YEAR I have friends who talk about why "Baby it's Cold Outside" is the creepiest Christmas song ever. I disagree, because not only is it not a Christmas song (it talks about the cold, people! So it's a fall/winter/spring song depending on where you live), but there's a lot of versions of this song and so, accordingly, there can be a lot of readings of this wintertime classic.

Once a ladies man,
always a ladies man.
(Which is saying a lot;
not everyone can rock a bad wig.)

A little history: The first time most audiences heard this song was in Esther Williams' 1949 film Neptune's Daughter. The song is a comedic number that takes place in either California or Florida (it has been a while since I've watched it and I don't want to shell out the money to watch it on Amazon.com to double check the state. Sorry kids.) during swimsuit season (so obviously it's not cold outside) and Ricardo Montalban (yes, Kahn) is trying to romance Esther Williams, who is aware and skeptical of his playboy ways (those South American polo players!), never mind the fact that she's going on a date to prevent him from dating her boy-crazy sister. They sing the song and then there's a reprise with Betty Grable as Esther Williams' little sister trying to convince Red Skelton (who is pretending to be Ricardo Montalban) to stay.

I know it sounds a little convoluted, so you just go watch the movie. I promise it's adorable, with all those things you love about old movies, like fashion shows and jazz musical numbers. (In case you don't want to watch a 40s musical, I found the song clip for you.)

 

The song won an Academy Award for best original song and it became attached to the Christmas season because of titular cold. 

More thoughts: Some of the lyrics are distressing, I won't disagree with that. "The answer is no." is one that stands out for me and I know "Say, what's in this drink?" is frightening, to say the least. For what it's worth, when the song was written roofies hadn't been invented yet. Asking someone what they put in a cocktail isn't uncommon, and it my way to dance around any unpleasantness. In my opinion, the lyrics make it seem like the person protesting would like to stay, but doesn't want to have to contend with any scandalous rumors. So that's how I convince myself that the song is all good fun. And not creepy.

And if that's not enough to love the song again, the lyrics are less of an issue with Idina Menzel's duet with Michael Buble -- all references to drinks, cigarettes and "no means no" have been lifted and replaced with lyrics suitable for adorable lip-syncing children.

Did I miss any arguments on either side? Let me know!

Dear Girl (or Guy) Getting Engaged . . .

Wedding announcements are a big deal. Engagement photos may be an even bigger one.

As a girl who spent four years in college and lived with scores of other girls, I've gotten my fair share of announcements:

After a while, you start collecting them like Pokemon cards . . . .

Some of my very favorite people made it on my house's shrine to the engaged.

It should come as no surprise that I've formed a few opinions. So, you, person reading (congrats by the way) may want to keep a few things in mind before you send out that piece of photo paper that will be immortalized on someone's fridge.

1. Faces please! I know it's tempting to get all sorts of artistic, but Great Aunt Betty might not have met your fiance yet. She'll want to have an idea so she doesn't congratulate the wrong person at the wedding.

2. Capture your couple essence! Have a little fun! You're getting married after all. On the flip side, remember this is marriage: a (at least) lifetime commitment. You're not taking Prom pictures.

3. Keep kissing to a minimum! Remember Great Aunt Betty? Let her be able to show-off your announcement. I know kissing is fun, but you don't want her (or her friends) to be scandalized.

4. Keep it varied! Should you choose to make a collage, go with different kinds of pictures. In photojournalism, we talked about how different photos make for a good photo spread. The same goes for announcements: have a close up, a long shot, an action shot and a portrait. (That is probably too many pictures for one announcement, but you get the idea.)

5. Smile! Look in love! This isn't a funeral, guys. Unless that's your thing. But maybe you should be rethinking marriage if it is.

And the bonus, not picture-related tip:

6. Proofread! Have someone else proofread! Copy editors are so important. Don't believe me? Google it. But, if you don't have money to hire one (also, if you have a hard time finding them because it's one of those regrettably extinct jobs), have a friend look it over. Twice. Make sure ALL of the date and address are correct. This seems obvious, but I've seen it.

Disclaimer (before any of my friends disown me): I've seen plenty of beautiful announcements that have broken these rules. But in the (hopefully) eventual day that I get married, I would like to remember my critical preferences before my brains get too love-addled! 

So, if you're just a one photo or a collage person, remember that a picture is worth a thousand words and your engagement pictures are that time to share your love story!